My name is Jess; and I am a Gig Pig.

My name is Jess; and I am a Gig Pig.

The first step is admitting it.

It'll take courage, willpower, familial support, and an acceptance of your ATM being constantly overdrawn. 

Not sure what I'm talking about? Never fear; Jess is near. Who said internet diagnosis was unreliable?

• Have you used the expression "They might never play in *insert city where said band will most definitely reappear at* again!!?"
• Do you find yourself equating restaurant meal prices to gig tickets?
• Have tried to make someone go to an event with you that you described as "that guy that plays that thing with the hair and the eyes in a venue only 4 hours and 2 buses away from our house"??
• Is your alcohol consumtion indirecty proportional to how much you like what you're listening to?
• Do you have recurring nightmares that that album you've been listening to on repeat just won't sound the same live?
• Do you feel anxious that somehow everyone else knows that your last question refers to AM and that they'll judge you for it?
• Do you feel IRRATIONAL ANGER towards GIG CUDDLERS that LITERALLY COULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME and CUDDLED THERE instead of in the front row?
• Have you ever sympathetically offered to take over for the barman for a few minutes, 'cause he was really missing out on a fantastic night, it didn't seem fair, his manager wouldn't have noticed, and no, I didn't need to be escorted out by security; I was just trying to be nice.
• Do you choose to ignore that almost everyone in the music industry is a knob and choose to accept that, actually; if he ever met you, Glen Hansard would be totally interested in your university course, and actually; Winston Marshall really fancies you.
• Have you had regular doctors appointments/funerals on Friday mornings for the past while now?
• Is your love/hate relationship with ticketmaster.ie really upsetting the feng shui in your flat?

(I'm sorry, I take back that last one. Just don't cut me off. I need the hit, come on, I'm sorry, just don't cut me off. I don't care about your ridiculous booking fees, I just wish you'd  advertise at the actual price, not the profit you're making on it. But please, don't cut me off, I'll have the money soon, I swear.)

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions....then I think you and I will get along just fine.